Showing posts with label Observations. Show all posts

There was a time when people appreciated literary genius. There was a time when Filipino movies were actually art. There was a time when journalism was an actual profession. And there was a time when dumb people don't get to have a say.

The thing is, good writers are nearing extinction. And it's not even because we're running out of mojo here. I mean come on, there's hardly a completely original thing anymore. Everything is partly derivative.

I have always dreamed of becoming a prolific writer. I mean, it doesn't even have to be to the levels of Stephen King (sheer volume) or JRR Tolkien (Legendary!). I mean, just a published trilogy would be nice (come on, if it's in the fantasy genre, there's no way it'll be finished in book one). Then again that might be asking for too much. Fine, a one-hit-wonder like JD Salinger is really a dream in itself (Don't hate me Salinger fans, but really, do you expect anyone else who knows anything aside from Catcher in the Rye?)

That dream is gone. I say I have let that one go, but I know there's a part of me that still dreams of creating that fiction masterpiece. So I admire Ramon Bautista, who's living my dream of a fantastic webisodes series. I admire Macky Cruz who's still on her way to writing that novel of hers. I envy JK Rowling because of her rags to riches success story. What was it really? Did they take a swig of some mead of poetry? Deal with the devil? There's no way to know how genius occurs.

But I can tell you how success happens. Take the names Stephanie Meyer and EL James. between those two are millions of revenue for extremely bad writing. This is proof that there's no need to be a good writer when you are trapped in a sea of BAD READERS.

This limiter to artistic heights is also evident in television and cinema (here in the Philippines at least). The reason this country still has sappy soap operas on primetime TV is because the better TV shows never get ratings for the masses who simply can't comprehend anything more complicated than tears and vengeance.

So kudos to real writers out there, who continue to improve the craft despite not getting financial success. In behalf of the country's population, I apologize for them dimwitted fools.

There's the clickety-clack of keyboards.
There's the discussion on how to implement a feature.
There's the funny banter.
Then there's the "shhhh" from a power-tripping douche.
There's that annoying but strangely catchy ringtone.
There's a man with a French accent on the speakerphone.
There's that person on the phone again.

There's the weird printer beep.
There's the shockingly loud landline ring.
There's a conversation on Parental Guidance, then the Grand Prix, then kids' Taekwondo.
Nothing makes sense. You put your earphones back on.
The music stops and you listen again.

Christopher Lao should have been informed.

Robert Blair Carabuena is pudgy and he's wearing purple. That's why witty Internet residents call him Barney. Also, he bullied that MMDA guy.

L-R: Tito Sotto with brother Vic, and pal, Joey at a time when he still had credibility.

It probably sucks to be insulted by anonymous people on the Internet. They should do a Maricar Reyes. Shut up, disappear. Keep quiet. We've already established that people are dumb panicky animals with the attention span of fungus. When you're a victim of cyberbullying, take it from the Internet: STFU.

Please, stop humiliating yourselves.

Habang lumalaki ang sweldo mo, lumalaki ang tax. Dapat matutuwa ka. Pero hindi, kasi lumalaki din ang nababawas sa 'yo. Sa mga empleyado, tinatawag itong withholding tax. Wala kang takas dahil kinakaltas kagad ito sa sweldo mo.

Mahirap ang kalagayan ng mga empleyado. Paano sila yayaman kung sila lang ang nagbabayad ng tamang buwis? Yumayaman ang mga mayaman, dahil naiiwasan nila ang mawalan ng pera. Pero eto talaga ang mas malungkot, yung mga nakikita nating squatter, yung mga taong nang-aagaw ng cellphone, nandurukot, nanghoholdap.... HINDI SILA NAGBABAYAD NG BUWIS.

Pero saan ba nakukuha ang pang-pondo ng pang-relocate sa mga squatter? Pag may nahuling holdaper, san kinukuha ng gobyerno ang pambayad sa gastusin ng kulungan? Doble ang sakit nito sa mga kawawang biktima na tapat na nagbabayad ng buwis. Dalawang beses silang nanakawan. Nakakalungkot dahil kahit pwede silang mag-ingat para hindi na pisikal na manakawan, ay wala silang takas sa buwis.

May malaking problema tayo dahil sa paraan kung pano nauupo sa pwesto ang mga taong nagnanakaw ng ating buwis. Ito ay dahil halos 90% ng botante ay ang mga taong hindi nagbabayad ng buwis. Kahit na magkaisa ang lahat ng mga taong may utak at may malasakit sa bansa natin, hindi kayang labanan ang puwersang masa. Ang puwersa na laging binibili ng mga pulitiko. Pero bahala ka na, kung gusto mong maniwala na every vote counts. Hindi naman ako eksperto sa statistics.

Paano nga ba makaka-angat ang mga middle-class? May pag-asa pa ba na manaig ang mga matatalino at may silbi na populasyon laban sa mga walang kwentang salot? Mga mahihirap ang pinapaboran ng mga pulitiko. Boto kasi sila. Madaming boto. At yun lang naman ang mahalaga.

Kung umabot ka pa sa talatang ito, alam mo na rin dapat na wala na pag-asa. Mas mahirap ang solusyon pag TAO ang problema mo. Hindi mo naman sila pwedeng ubusin lahat. Dahil sinubukan na yun ni Hitler, at alam natin ang nangyari sa kanya.

Paninirang puri. An often misused cry when someone points out your mistakes. I think the closest translation to paninirang puri is Slander, but with the frequent misuse, we might have to change that to "speaking the damn truth."

You don't need a degree in writing to become a writer.

How many times have we heard/read that? The thing is, it is actually true.  To a certain extent. Remember that animated movie where there's a rat who wants to become a chef? Gusteau said anyone can cook. Hell, Remy did it well, and he's a frigging rodent. Also notable in that film is Gusteau's son, Linguini, who is totally inept in cooking.

You see, the point is, people tend to read the word "anyone" as if it is "everyone." Keyword=any. This means that any person can be astoundingly good at something.

Welcome to Papa Cologne's Guide to Being a Manager!

Becoming a "boss" as it is called here in the Philippines is a very glamorous (and high-paying) opportunity.  And the best part? You don't even have to do it right to be successful. In fact, most of the successful managers out there are boot-licking miscreants with no idea what they're doing. Sure there are good ones, but they're a rare commodity.

Here are some tips to become a successful manager:

1. When in doubt, impose restrictions. Motivation and trust are for lesser beings. With restrictions, all you have to do is send a memo. No research or study required. Effortless and makes you look good.


2. The only people you have to please are the upper management. Sure, good managers think of the welfare of the team, but frankly, that takes too much involvement and again, effort. Remember that as a manager you have the power to do the following:
   
   
   
   1. Take credit for your team's achievements
   
   
   2. Let the team take the fall should they/you fail
   
   
   
   

So bottomline, there's no need to care.

3. Never own up to personal mistakes. (See item number 2) If something goes wrong, it's your subordinates' fault. It's when they do well that you step in and take charge.


4. Attention to detail is crucial. Always focus on small things like punctuality and hours rendered at the office. This is much easier than examining the actual output of your people. You need to be very strict about the little things to cover up for your own uselessness. Also, be very very vigilant in watching their monitors! It's a great achievement to see people browsing non-work sites. And for the same reason earlier, it's much easier than examining work output. These little things will give you plenty of time to "look busy" without actually doing anything productive.


5. Remember bad parenting. If you're already a bad parent, then management should be a walk in the park for you. Do the same things. You probably still don't realize how human minds work. Raising kids and employees are not much different.


6. *Guys Only* Speak in a deep modulated voice. Always use your deep voice when talking to people. The basic rule to follow is you use your "manager voice" when talking to higher level people or when trying to make yourself superior over your subordinates. When talking to higher ups, keep in mind that the higher the pay grade, the deeper your voice.


7. Accessorize. (by Nini) You're going to need a smartphone and expensive coffee. The smartphone, preferably a Blackberry, reinforces your "business look" even if you take hours just thinking of a cool tweet. The coffee... well, we all know Starbucks raises your sosyal factor. And the false need for caffeine makes it look as if you're so busy you need to stay up.

This list is a work in progress. If you have other tips for aspiring managers feel free to let us know.

I take jeeps on my commute and I tend to notice the shit in the daily grind. What the hell is with people doing useless and unnecessary work and then expecting to get paid? Seriously.

Barkers

Let's start with barkers. In case you don't know, barkers are those people who scream the jeep's route in the hopes that they will attract passengers. And then they expect the drivers to give them money. Now, I didn't really conduct studies about this, but I am fairly confident that jeepney rides are not exactly commodities that require sales talk. It's not as if I'm walking one day, and then someone screams at me and then I happen to decide I want to ride. Any form of commute is something you either do or do not. There is no impulse ride.

Still, these barkers are out there and they make themselves believe they're doing something good when they're actually useless. Jeepney drivers are the victim here since if they don't pay these good-for-nothing bastards, the barkers will throw rocks at their jeep.

Watch-Your-Car Boys

This one is even more fucked up. These kids try to get you into a "contract" where they watch your parked car and then you pay them later when you get back. Now, why the hell do you have to pay them to "watch your car?" Because if you don't they'll damage your ride.

Windshield Punas Boys/Carwash Boys

If you've ever been out on the road, you'd have seen these boys. Usually found in intersections, these kids carry dirty pan holders which they use to wipe car windshields, windows, and side-mirrors of unfortunate cars waiting for the light to go green. In some cases (if you happen to be stuck in a road beside a squatter area), they take it to the next level by carrying a pail of dirty soapy water to wash your car with.

And since drivers are stuck  inside their cars, they can do nothing while these people dirty their car. Worse, these people are expecting money from their sloppy shit.

I'm an elitist, I know.

You know how those security guards keep on checking your bags whenever you go to the mall (or anywhere)? That's because some crazy guy who owns the place wants you to feel secure. Not.

This phenomenon is stupid to the point of moronic in Ayala establishments. Take Trinoma for example. Before you enter the mall itself, you get inspected. Nice and all clear inspected you then decide to go to Landmark. WHICH HAPPENS TO BE INSIDE THE FUCKING MALL. A guard inspects you again. That also goes the other way around. So when you got inspected when you went in the mall, and then got inspected again when you entered Landmark, when you leave Landmark to go back to the mall, they inspect you again. Why? Maybe because you might be carrying bombs.

I really feel for these security personnel. Some moron in the Ayala management is making them do a useless and annoying task. What's up with that?

I happen to experience this same Ayala shit when I go to work. The UP-Ayala TechnoHUB sure looks nice from the outside, but the architects seem to be old rich fuckers who do not understand what kind of people will work there. Let's start of with security.

You enter TechnoHUB coming from chaotic Commonwealth Avenue. A guard will ask you where you're heading and where's your ID. Which means if you just went there to buy anything from their retail area, guards are mandated to fuck you up before you get there. And oh yeah, open your bag if you have one because they'd want to inspect that.

If you are fortunate to come to TechnoHUB with a vehicle, it's less harassing. The driver just asks you where you're going, (it doesn't matter if you have an ID or anything, the car should talk for you), and then they proceed to check your car for bombs.

This is why I am guilty of laughing when I heard a shootout happened at Greenbelt 5. Ayala people do you know why this shit happens? It's because you are morons.

Here's to you call center agents.

I'm normally a polite guy (naks!). Until Globe Broadband. Globe Broadband has really really bad technical support. Of course, this is not entirely the fault of the Customer Service Representatives I get to talk to.



During my first months with Globe Broadband, the service was intermittent at best. That meant a lot of time spent calling their hotline. Every time, the CSR asks me about cables connected and shit. Now here's a thought, my record is in there. Check it and you should see that my problem is not about fucking cables. That the service of Globe sucks is not the problem of the CSRs, but seriously, a little IQ can go a long way.

Of course, the only time I'd call the Globe hotline is when the service is down. Which will usually mean I'm in a very bad mood. And then I get to talk to an idiot who assumes I'm an idiot too. This is the part where I'm thankful.

Globe sucks bad enough that I know for a fact that my calls to the hotline won't mean a thing. I just want to vent. I'm gonna quote Barney Stinson here, with his Circle/Chain/Pyramid of Screams. I really wish I can go directly to the one responsible and then just scream and pummel him (or her) to the floor. Unfortunately, Globe only gives us access to you CSRs, so you'll have to do. After an angry phone call to Globe, nothing's really fixed. My case won't improve, Internet won't come back. Because THAT'S HOW BAD THE GLOBE BROADBAND SERVICE IS.

So why do I do it? It's fun. And after an angry phone call. I feel good. I'm sorry poor CSR. Although sometimes, I encounter a good call center agent. Someone who knows how to avoid getting me to talk trash. And when the agent's polite and NOT AN IDIOT, I do not vent out on that poor fellow.

Here's to you call center agents. To the good ones, you're really talented at what you do. To the morons, you're necessary. Customers need people to shout at.

So I happened to see on TV that Mike Velarde and a Brother something something are planning to run for President. As if that wasn't lol enough, they also managed to interview some supporters. One response really stuck to me. The guy said something like,

Most of the leaders of old times naman were selected by God. And they turned out to be effective rulers.

That's not the exact words he said. I remember him saying something like, "Yung pinili ni God." I just love it when people use "ni God/ si God" in a sentence.

For example,

Eh kasi, sabi ni God...

I love it. Close sila.

I never understood religious people. Back in high school, we had a bunch of cathecists who taught us Bible stuff. It wasn't so bad. But that time, I hated the thought of memorizing prayers. I still do. I hate treating a prayer like some sort of incantation. And if I had to, I wish I learned it in Latin. Then it would at least sound like a magic spell.

I think I just meet the wrong religious people. My uncle's mistress was devout. Always talking of stuff na sinabi ni God and always going to those praise things they do. But, she's a mistress. And quite evil. That's really fucked up.

Yano could not have said it better. Banal na aso, Santong kabayo.

I've heard of this religion teacher in DLSU. Not to be all judgmental of their educational system there or anything, but to pay tuition for a religion course is BULLSHIT imo.

Anyway, so this religion teacher. From what I hear, quite strict. And requires people to attend and get certificates for seminars. Now, I'm not big on these seminars myself, but I think I'm logical to think that you don't have to attend a pre-marriage seminar if you're not about to get married. Now, I can't stop loling at the idea of a Religion class in college, but I don't get why there should be papers and research work for a course that's not even necessary.

There are a lot of pathetic and utterly useless teachers in the country. I'd know, I don't remember learning much from school. I did get lucky enough that I encountered some brilliant ones I was able to learn from, but the rest of the crowd, sheer crap.

I don't know if it was just me, but my incompetent teachers were the ones who gave ridiculous homework. (Example: forcing you to attend vocational seminars)

I also remember my issue about group work. Ah group work. I remember how professors would insist on some random grouping scheme, to teach us "how to work with other people."

I see the point. When you start your professional career, you will be thrown into "random" groups. So it's training. Me, I believe in not grouping yourself with people you know to be incompetent morons. Now, since Professor GroupWork obviously cannot judge our individual contributions to the group work, then it seems that the groupmates are not the only incompetent morons in the picture.

Learning is a continuous process. I didn't stop learning when I was outside school. And I didn't start learning when I was there.

I stopped going to church. I don't have a profound reason for that. I was just lazy. I enjoy watching televangelists debate. It's crazy. I'm amazed at how the church is fighting against the Reproductive Health Bill. Get on with the unprotected fucking! The church has your back! Of course, they won't feed your children, or send them to school or anything. In any case, carry on.

Here comes the occasional emo post of this blog.

My first encounters with SM North was way back in high school. When the school has a field trip, on the way home, the bus will stop over at what us promdis used to call "SM City." And it was awesome. You see, that's the difference between the city and the province. The awesome malls. And SM North was quite big.

Anyway, while most of my schoolmates would hit Bench or Marcella for whatever trinkets to bring home, I'd go straight to the World of Fun arcade in SuperSales Club. They had this game you see, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs. It was based from a cartoon/comic back in the early 90s. I'd buy five tokens to play that game. (I could only afford five at four pesos each)

That habit spilled over to college when I went to QC to study in UP. And that's when most of my SM North memories happened.

SM North became a major landmark for me. I had to walk by it every time I go to school. Back then, I didn't have Internet (or a PC for that matter). So I had this favorite Internet cafe behind SM North. It was ran by a tomboyish lady who we call Ate. A lot of research and papers were done in that store. And also hours and hours of Counter Strike, Half-Life, Serious Sam, Battle Realms, Warcraft III, and StarCraft.

Also behind SM North, was a carinderia I used to frequent. It was tackily named Point Point after the Pinoy term "turu-turo." They had the best grilled liempo. And they loved me there. I always get big servings. Haha. A few blocks away from that is a pancitan place called Tai-Tai Estero-Style cuisine or whatever. They had the best lechon kawali ever. They also make good pancit (they're better known for the pancit).

Still in that area, was a Playstation rental place that doesn't have a name. We finished Metal Gear Solid, Megaman X4, X5, and X6 there. We also got addicted to Bust-a-Groove and fighting game called Bushido Blade. There were a lot of pesky kids in that place. They always thought we played the weirdest games. Later they got addicted to the games we play. They respected us a lot. To them, we were probably gaming gods. It was in this shop where we discovered a crazy Japanese game called Incredible Crisis.

Just in front of that Playstation place was a hardcore gym called Perfect Shape. That's where Jeff and I used to work out. If you haven't noticed it yet, when I say "we" in this post, it's usually Jeff and me. Friendly people, rusty equipment, absent air-conditioning. That place was the best. I got at my fittest working out at that place.

Around third year college, I finally got a PC of my own. Unfortunately, still no Internet. By that time, Ate's Internet cafe was gone. She said it was too stressful and her business partners (friends) did not quit their jobs as she did so she was left alone to tend to the business. This was also the time we got addicted to downloading stuff. Anime pictures, mp3s, Internet babes... The works.

Not a lot of Internet cafes let you download and save your stuff back then. And flash disks were just gadgets we used to dream about that time. Luckily, there was an Internet cafe called Tomato Bytes. It was run by Kuya Rhom, and it was a console gaming and LAN gaming place plus Internet cafe. There, we played Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, Onimusha, Devil May Cry, Tekken Tag, Street Fighter EX3, Capcom Vs. SNK, and other PS2 games. We also befriended other gaming dudes there, guys we only know by faces.

Speaking of gaming friends, while still quite addicted to console gaming that time, we made a couple of friends in the World of Fun arcade (mentioned earlier) over Tekken Tag Tournament. It was an out-of-school youth called Butchukoy and a that time student from FEU guy who we call Julia Guy (His Tekken character was Julia Chang).

Ok, so roughly 700 words later, I'm still just at the outskirts of SM North memories. I think I'll have to cut this post into multiple parts. Until then!

I only have one meaningful thing to say, I support you Mr. JB Lazarte.

Granted, that doesn't really help much. It's not like I have government connections (or a syndicate behind me, which as we all know is MUCH better than having political connections).

The Philippines is one fucked up country. We call sex videos, "scandals" when in reality, they're just people having sex--caught on video. (Maybe it's an Asian thing) Let's look at it this way, a man mating with a goat, that's scandalous. A boy and a girl having sex, that's just sex. A boy and a boy, well that's gay.

It's funny how sex is such a taboo here. It's amazing how the church is fighting against a reproductive health bill, in a country where so many unplanned pregnancies happen daily. It's crazy how the media censors movies and advertisements with sexual undertones, but glorify every other sex scandal that happens.

Here's to FAD. Welcome back.

Only here, are people sensitive enough to nitpick performances of the national anthem, and yet do nothing about the real crises that plague the nation. Only here, are congressmen paid roughly 50k, and yet afford all those expensive rides and a trips abroad. (And they want more people, 50 more... because stealing money, I mean, making laws very integral to our lives <see http://www.gmanews.tv/story/156666/Bill-vs-Hentai-close-to-becoming-law-in-RP> is too difficult.)

I usually hate posts related to political shit and current events. It's just too easy. No wits required there. If Jon Stewart had a show here in the Philippines, his punchlines would be meaningless. Why? Because it's too out there. Making fun of the Philippines is so easy. Seriously, when the top news for the country is a sex scandal, it's funny as it is. When the Senate and the President react to it so violently, there's something awfully wrong with the government.

But, since it's been quite a while since I wrote anything, might as well join the bandwagon. This makes me very Filipino right here.

Let's see, as far as I can remember, some singer dude omitted a couple of lines when he sang the national anthem at some event some time ago. That's rather wrong, omitting lyrics. As expected, several politicians and self-proclaimed patriotic countrymen raised a ruckus. Another incident is Teri Hatcher's character saying something defamatory regarding the Philippine education system. Our friendly neighborhood Senators wanted her banned. In fact, let's go waaaaay back. When Claire Danes insulted Manila as infested by rats some years back, the country was in outrage.

"YOU DARE SAY SOMETHING SHITTY ABOUT OUR COUNTRY?!?!"

Something more recent now. Martin Nievera went all jazzy with his rendition of the National Anthem. Hell, we don't even have to guess what happened next. Because in here, we have a law, the Republic Act 8491, Sec. 37 futher states: “The rendition of the national anthem, whether played or sung, shall be in accordance with the musical arrangement and composition of Julian Felipe.” But we don't have death penalty. We have people asking singers for public apologies when they sing the national anthem. We have a National Historical Institute (these people are actually paid). And yet, we have a really fucked up account of our own history.

Just recently, Alec Baldwin made a joke about mail-order brides. It referenced Filipina.. or a Russian one. A Filipino Senator wanted to beat him up for it. Ah, truth hurts. Since the senator has already been brought up, we might as well mention how passionately he is fighting for Katrina Halili in her recently exposed scandal video. I'm still LOLing on "Pervert of the highest order." This country worries too much of its image, but worships a boxer.

As we near the last few sentences of this post, so what's my point?

I think the feeble minds that comprise our government knows. It's when you are so incompetent, that you show fervor for the most mundane shit. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how stoopid, as long as you make a lot of noise. And what's sad about that? People buy it. We have bigger problems. People are going hungry. There really are mail-order brides. Been to school lately? The education system sucks. We've got landslides, too many people are jobless, we're doing a terrible job at stopping population explosion.

There are so many more important things to worry about. Things that require thought and effort to solve. And that's the problem really. It's easier to yammer about patriotism, the rights of women, manyaks, and cartoon porn.

Whew, been a while since I last blogged. Truth is... I've been busy with work, and trainings.. and lots of things to improve my mad skillz. (Of course I wasn't just lazy.)

Since I haven't been writing much, I was able to read other people's blogs.. see a lot of things.. the kind of stuff you do when you got nothing better to do. That's really how great minds work, as I'm sure it was with Socrates, Aristotle, Freud, Hobbes--it's when there's nothing better to do.

Anyway, in line with the tone of this blog, which callcenterboy.com creator, Nats calls sarcasm, the subject of this blog is about the blog and the blogger. If you've read previous posts, you'll see that this blog is really sarcastic and cynical. But I have to confess, deep inside, I'm really all carebear stuff. I'm sweet and mushy and all that.

And that's what brings us to our topic today, the duality (triality, quadrality and so on) of bloggers. Why do people blog anyway? If it were asked on Family Feud, I'd imagine the top answers would be:

1. To express themselves.
2. It serves as an outlet of their feelings
3. Wala lang.
4. It's the in thing.

But there are other bloggers, and you'll notice in the fancy way of writing... Those deep, emotional, intellectual words stringed together to achieve a certain vague thought--that idea so complex, it has to be fake. It's that kind of blogging that interests me most.

It's true. The Internet is where we can be anyone. We can be anything. Are you an indecisive, scaredy worrisome fool? In the Internet you can always be that sure, courageous, and assertive achiever. Blogging is one of the best and easiest ways to do that. (You can also use deep Facebook status messages.) Let's say... I hate marriage. I can write how omfg, everyone's getting married wtf is with that? And then it completely hides the truth that I actually want to settle down, like everyone else, and I don't want to be lonely... And I want that nice house with the picket fences and stuff. I can be the angsty but cool blogger, because in the real world, all I really want to do is conform and be loved.

Earlier today, we were talking about prinsipyo, and kung ano ang gusto ng puso. And it's funny how people seem to believe it's our issues, our principles, our steadfast dedication to that whatever intellectual abstract that makes us who we are. And it's hilarious how that fails miserably. I'm gonna have to quote myself:

"Ang prinsipyo, salita lang yan na pwede mong kainin. Pero ang puso, di mo kaya kainin yun."

It is however, nice to think we are someone else. Someone better. I dream at night (and during the day) that I have telekinesis, ability to teleport, elemental mastery, athletic ability, lots of money, good looks, sheer awesomeness... That kind of thing. And the truth is, those things, I'm very unlikely to have. Maybe that's why people choose to fool themselves.. or attempt to make people believe otherwise. It's just that when you can't be happy for yourself.. When you can't get what you want.. Maybe, just maybe.. making people believe that lie is a little part you can have for yourself.

The thing with being online a lot is that for some reason you get too lazy to blog. I guess when you happened to Skype or YM your life’s happenings to online friends, there really isn’t much need to post anything anymore. Of course, there’s also the absence of interesting things, there really is no reason to blog.

It was quite an uneventful holiday vacation. Tried to play the insane Prince of Persia: Warrior Within with Philipfry, and after hours of hairpulling jumps and crazy acrobatics, the DVD hanged. I remember playing POPWW on the PSP and there were too many moments when I almost threw the PSP to the ground in frustration. (Thankfully, that never happened, and the PS2 or the TV was never at risk when we played)

After POP conked out on us, we switched to Kingdom Hearts. (Yes, old games. That’s what happens when you don’t have the next-gen console.)  Pretty cool action-rpg. Damn cool voices.

Ok that’s about it for niceties, on to what this blog has always been known for. This New Year was the first time I was out on the streets until around 11pm. And the first time I managed to move from a poor neighborhood, to a very rich neighborhood, to a rather rich neighborhood. And here’s how it went:

1. In a poor neighborhood, people throw firecrackers at people’s feet as they walk. Also on the hood or roof of the car that passes by. Also, they really deserve to get their hands blown off.


2. In a very rich neighborhood, no one is outside. But there are blaring party sounds, and if you look up, fancy fireworks.


3. In a rather rich neighborhood, people use home-videokes to generate noise. Tone-deaf family members ftw.

There’s also the thing about holiday stress. People are generally agitated, and those you encounter at malls or at PUVs are quite ready to bash your head in. Depressed people are near suicidal. And cheery people are at their wits’ end.

The extreme example of this is the corpse found on the nearby apartment. It’s is damn insane to wake up in the morning and find cops and a TV cameraman in the compound. Eventually I managed to overhear that some poor guy hanged himself in there, and that it has been dead for three or so days. (Which puts the hanging at around New Year or New Year’s eve.)

Oh well, here’s to 2009.

I've been doing a lot of lurking, mostly because I can't think of anything meaningful to write about. This includes internet forums and of course, blogs. That's how I chanced upon this particular entry...



Digital camera for sale!!! Intriguing. Especially if you look at the first line that says... "I'm selling 2 video cards." Curiosity got the best of me and I clicked...



Now, I'm not a gadget guru or anything, but I'm pretty sure graphic cards of today (and probably of the far far tomorrow) do not offer digicam features. Man, if they did, that'd be just a whack! Imagine, you're playing World of Warcraft on your PC and suddenly felt the urge to take a picture of that tree right outside your window. Your cellphone camera just won't do, so you open up your PC, pull out your video card and *click!*

Ahh, technology. It's goooood.

A few days ago I got this email, and being the bored person that I was at that moment, I read it... And found it intriguing. The following is the text of that email verbatim, minus the outrageous font, size, and color.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE

1950's, 60' s, 70's and early 80's !! especially pinoy, pinay!

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer while they carried us.

While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine,ate isaw and didn't worry about diabetes.

Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, pati na yung walker natin, matigas na kahoy din at wala pang gulong.

We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads , sometimes wala pang preno yung bisikleta.

As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (yung JD Transit na pula o California Bus pati na yung mga byaheng Laguna na lahat ng hilera ng upuan walang pinto) or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (ngayon lahat gusto may aircon na).

Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. Kalesa o karitela is fun (ngayon hindi na nakakakita ng kalabaw ang mga bata).

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle purchased from 7-11 ( minsan straight from the faucet or poso)

We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis.

We ate rice with star margarine, drank raw eggs straight from the shell and drank sofdrinks (Sarsaparilla o Sarsi, Cosmos, RC Cola, Fress Gusto etc.) with real sugar in it (hindi diet coke), but we weren't sick or overweight kasi nga......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day and get back when the streetlights came on. Sarap mag patintero, tumbang preso , habulan, moro-moro at taguan.


No one was able to reach us all day ( di uso ang cellphone , walang beepers ). And yes, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (yung bearing ang gulong) or plywood slides out of scraps and then ride down the street , only to find out we forgot the brakes! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (sewage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands. Gawa tayo saranggola kapag nahirapan kahit boka-boka lang okey na.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cellphones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ...... ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents.The only ribbing we got was from our friends with the words… “masakit ba ?” pero pag galit yung kalaro mo,,,,ang sasabihin sa iyo… “beh buti nga !”. Taraugan ka, ‘no???

We played marbles (jolens) in the dirt or kalog-tansan (ang pera kaha ng sigarilyo) washed our hands just a little and ate dirty ice cream & fish balls. we were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.

We had to live with homemade guns " gawa sa kahoy, tinali ng rubberband , sumpit , tirador at kung ano ano pa na puedeng magkasakitan...pero masaya pa rin ang lahat.

We made up games with sticks( syatong ),and cans ( tumbang preso )and although we were told they were dangerous,wala naman tayong binulag o napatay.paminsan minsan may nabubukulan lang.

We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!

Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment.Wala yang mga childhood depression at damaged self esteem ek-ek na yan. Ang pikon, talo.

Ang magulang ay nandoon lang para tignan kung ayos lang ang mga bata, hindi para makialam at makipag-away sa ibang parents.

That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.

You might want to share this with others who've had the luck to grow up as real kids. We were so lucky indeed.

And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were.

It kind of makes you wanna go out and climb a tree, doesn't it?!

Good and attractive women love falling for jerks/guys who look bad.

Yeah sure, girls will deny this. But see for yourself. Walk around the mall a bit. In a few minutes a really pretty girl will come your way. And that pretty girl has a dog with her. Oh wait, the dog has a really pretty girl with him. Silly me for not noticing soon.(This theory might work for guys too, but I really don't care)

Now, why? Why is it so? Here's a true story from a friend. A few years back, we interviewed a female friend on what she's looking for in a guy, what she wants for the future, yabadah, yabadah, the kind of thing you only talk about in the influence of alcohol (or something much stronger, like say, crack).

To which she replied, "I dunno, smart, probably, maybe a doctor or something. Tall, good-looking, kind thoughtful... A future with a house on the meadow, white picket fences..." And of course, we responded, "Awwwww.."

A few weeks later, she introduced us to her boyfriend. Someone she described as "Mas guwapo kaysa sa mabait." The first time I saw the guy I wanted to splash him with holy water. If he looked better than he was nice... then this guy is the devil himself. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, the girlfriend ranked the guy at 5-6. We totally agree. He definitely looks like two 2.5s put together with cheap glue. IQ-wise, the guy was err, let's just say he's not that smart. All right, all right, I was being too harsh, in fact he probably has an IQ of 25.

Doctor eh? Tall and good-looking eh?

Truth is, I realized there actually are sure-fire techniques if you want to "snag yourself a hottie" even when you dont have the looks or the brains. Two I can name offhand. The first is be filthy rich. If that's not your case, then the second one might be easier. It takes a little more effort, and a great deal of concentration.

Here it is...
Be really, really mysterious.

I'm not saying be seemingly gay, just be make the girl think you're not interested in any woman. In worse cases that you're stuck up in a world of your own, and that you really don't want to be sociable. It takes years of practice to master this technique.

Whoever thought of this first is a genius. Sure, girls frown at the idea of guys trying to do something crazy like you know, conquering the unconquerable (read: climbing Mount Everest). But the truth is, girls are into that kind of thing too. Only on a different level.

Fellow researcher Philip and I call this phenomenon, The Perez Pe Benito Pickle Jar. (Some guys at time management research thought they were witty when they used the Pickle Jar to name their theory as well, bastards) The idea of course is, to be the really hard-to-open-pickle-jar that you are. Don't open up, brood, brood, brood, scowl, scowl, scowl. A female will try to open you in no time.

It takes experience to learn the pickle jar craft, and some guys are naturally good at it, while some are not. Word of advice though, do not open so soon when some chick tries to open you. What you do is open a little, make her think she's doing it, then close again. Be the real you (an asshole). Then open up again. Boom, she's caught in the trap.

For guys who cannot master this technique, there's always technique number one, be filthy rich.